Coloring, Dancing, Laughing and Exploring

I am having such a great time with these little children at CCH, I can not even begin to tell you! They are such bright rays of sunshine, and I'm falling in love with them a little more each day. They are sweet, funny, courageous, smart, and loving. And to be around their energy all the time is such a blessing. That's not to say that after a long day I still don't throw myself down on the bed in complete exhaustion... but this tired feeling is always interlaced with a deep and peaceful joy, knowing that my heart has touched theirs. The short time I spend with them is truly rewarding, not because I do anything particularly special, but because we truly enjoy each others company!

This week was filled with lots of play time, which I love! One day we had an entire afternoon devoted towards coloring, where we all sprawled ourselves out on the floor of their playroom/library and got to work with our colored pencils. They are such creative little beings, but they usually don't have the supplies available to support these activities all the time. When I want to do a craft with them, I go to the store before hand and by paper, colored pencils, scissors, ect. I feel like I've turned into Marry Poppins the way I can fit all sorts of surprises inside my bag each day, and the children know to wait in anticipation to see what I will pull out next. String for braiding and knotting jewlery, yarn for cats games, coloring books, treats, nail polish.... It's fun coming up with new and creative ideas to share with the children because they just eat it up! Yesterday I taught them how to make valentine cards using construction paper and a splash of love. I explained that in America this is a day where we tell our friends and family just how much they mean to us and how happy we are to have them in our lives. I told them to save their valentines for Saturday and give them as a gift to one of their friends - they really liked the sound of this! On Wed. of this week the orphanage had a special guest come in who is a key donor from Japan and is responsible for a lot of the funding within CCH. The children were so giddy with excitement at having a guest, that they practiced a special show all afternoon to perform. They prepared a traditional Khemer dance, all the while giggling and bouncing around to add their own charm to the mix. They also gathered together to sing a song that was partnered with hand gestures and sign language. I had such a fun time watching their little performance, and how each one of them lit up the room in their own special way.

Within all the moments of carefree play I tend to forget these children have been through so much at such a young age. Gathered together in such a safe place for self expression allows them to radiate with pure joy and love... but then I am hit with moments of realization that they are tiny little beings with no parents to go home to at the end of the day. I am beginning to learn more of each of their stories and it breaks my heart because I have come to love them so much. Many of their parents have died from HIV- some of the children are carriers, and others have been miraculously spared of inheriting this terrible disease. It's also very common for the children to have been given up because their parents could not afford to take care of them. Or in one case, a little girl named Srey Lis was abandoned on the streets because her parents divorced and neither one wanted to take care of her anymore. I look at this precious child and think who would not want to be around her beautiful presence and just love her all the time? I can not fathom it! One afternoon I was watching all the kids play in the library, when two little girls came to lay in my lap. I had one on each leg and I was playing with their air and softly touching their tiny foreheads, when one looked up at me and said, "Do you have mom and dad?" I told her I did and she responded, ''me no have.'' I felt my body sink into the ground beneath us as I watched her eyes travel off into the distance. I wanted to tell her I would take her home with me, but instead I said, "but look at all these amazing brothers and sisters you have here." This made her smile a bit, but I knew it was not the same. There is so much joy, beauty and playfulness each day at the orphanage, but once in a while I am hit with moments like these that truly make it hard to breathe. Although the energy here is starting to feeling a bit lighter and I'm so grateful for this very moment in my life. Being of service in whatever way I can and just being present to experience the unfolding gift of life with these beautiful little children. It's more than I could ever ask for.

One of my friends that I met in Chaing Mai, Rhiannon, has been in town for a few days and it's been a real treat to have her here. I'm finding that each time a familiar face has dropped in along my journey, I receive a much needed hug from home! She has gone to the orphanage with me the past two days and of course the children love her! This weekend we are taking a trip to Siem Rep which is home to the famous ancient temple Angkor Wat. This is one of the seven wonders of the world and people travel from all over to see this gigantic creation. We will take a bus on Saturday morning and spend a long weekend exploring the country side and millions of temples that are hidden there. I'm looking forward to getting out of the city a bit and being surrounded by some breathtaking nature! Before we leave however, I have been invited to a traditional Khemer wedding tonight, which I'm really excited about! I havn't actually met the bride and groom but I received an invitation with my name beautifuly written on it from the director at CCH. Some of the other volunteers and teachers will be going as well, so I will know a few people there, but mainly I'm excited about experiencing yet another side to this new culture I'm immersed in. I'll be sure to tell you all about it next time I write!

I hope you are all doing really well back home. I love you and miss you so much. I really am having an incredible time, more so than I could have ever imagined. I'm learning so much about the heart ache and incredible beauty of humanity everyday, and it's been truly amazing. But of course all of these new discoveries are only taking me further into my own heart and allowing me to discover more of myself each and every day. It's been quite a journey!

Love and Peace
April