Home is in the Heart

I found myself feeling pretty homesick for the first time this past week. It's not that I haven't gotten a chance to miss you all over the last month and a half, but it's been so exciting traveling around and meeting new people that it hasn't really caught up with me yet. Well now that I've been here in Chaing Mai for almost a month (I can hardly believe it's already been that long) I'm beginning to feel a bit more grounded. I moved into a new apartment yesterday where I will live for the next 3 months- the guest house I was staying at for the past week and a half was really great, but this new place is going to save me a lot of money... only 2,500 bat a month, which is around 80 dollars! I'm sorry, I don't mean to rub it in... I know that our economy is having some troubles back home, and you are all truly in my best intentions right now. However, it does feel a bit abstract to me since day to day living is so inexpensive here. But I do hear people talking about it all the time and hope that positive changes are about to take shape! So, this new apartment is pretty nice and in a cute part of the city, surrounded by lots of great organic restaurants and fun tea shops. I think all this newness I'm experiencing daily really began to catch up with me: having a different place to call "home" every few weeks, meeting so many different people all the time, and trying hard to remember how to find my way around without getting lost. Nothing seems stable... So I started to miss home because of the consistency of being in my comfortable community, knowing where everything is, and being surrounded by so many familiar faces. Not having to wonder where to go to buy a role of toilet paper, or waking up to unfamiliar sounds every morning.

Yesterday I began to read a book called The Heart of Understanding by Thich Nhat Hanh, which of course told me exactly what I needed to hear. He talks about how everything is impermanent and how change is essential for life to happen. He uses the analogy of planting seeds of corn and waiting for the crops to take shape. Change of seasons is needed in order for growth, otherwise receiving vegetables from the earth would not be possible. The same holds true for our emotional and spiritual growth; During times of change is when we truly have the opportunity for transformation. And that is what I am finding right now. Each day I learn something new about myself, each moment I am faced with opportunities for growth. There is no familiar place to run to and really nothing comfortable to occupy my time with, so instead I am faced with whatever comes up... and what I am finding is really amazing.

I am learning the truth behind the Dalhi Lama's teachings of interconnectivity, and how we truly are connected through everything we do. Feeling lonely and uncomfortable in a new place is just an illusion, because in truth home is here with me, and wonderful people are surrounding me at every moment. Only thinking about loneliness creates isolation from all of the abundant love that surrounds us everyday. Realizing this has been pretty powerful, because it allows me to feel at home exactly where I am in each moment. That home is in my heart, and if we all share the same love inside of us, we will always be connected.

Finding a piece of home through teaching the union of yoga to new students everyday, and in the smiling faces of my precious students at the Freedom House. Finding home in the familiar taste of a fresh avocado salad, and in the funky music that's played at my favorite tea shop. Finding home in a smiling face from an old woman as we ride pass each other on our bikes in the morning, and in the green leaves that poor over each towering tree. Finding home in the chilly night air as we enter the "cold" season, and in sitting around a table of new friends sharing food off each others plates like family. Finding home relaxing in a garden while getting lost in a good book, and in watching children play games with rocks and sticks in the hill tribe villages. Finding home on my quiet mediation cushion each morning and also in the busy street markets each night.

Home is in the Heart

Love to you all

April