Home is in the Heart

I found myself feeling pretty homesick for the first time this past week. It's not that I haven't gotten a chance to miss you all over the last month and a half, but it's been so exciting traveling around and meeting new people that it hasn't really caught up with me yet. Well now that I've been here in Chaing Mai for almost a month (I can hardly believe it's already been that long) I'm beginning to feel a bit more grounded. I moved into a new apartment yesterday where I will live for the next 3 months- the guest house I was staying at for the past week and a half was really great, but this new place is going to save me a lot of money... only 2,500 bat a month, which is around 80 dollars! I'm sorry, I don't mean to rub it in... I know that our economy is having some troubles back home, and you are all truly in my best intentions right now. However, it does feel a bit abstract to me since day to day living is so inexpensive here. But I do hear people talking about it all the time and hope that positive changes are about to take shape! So, this new apartment is pretty nice and in a cute part of the city, surrounded by lots of great organic restaurants and fun tea shops. I think all this newness I'm experiencing daily really began to catch up with me: having a different place to call "home" every few weeks, meeting so many different people all the time, and trying hard to remember how to find my way around without getting lost. Nothing seems stable... So I started to miss home because of the consistency of being in my comfortable community, knowing where everything is, and being surrounded by so many familiar faces. Not having to wonder where to go to buy a role of toilet paper, or waking up to unfamiliar sounds every morning.

Yesterday I began to read a book called The Heart of Understanding by Thich Nhat Hanh, which of course told me exactly what I needed to hear. He talks about how everything is impermanent and how change is essential for life to happen. He uses the analogy of planting seeds of corn and waiting for the crops to take shape. Change of seasons is needed in order for growth, otherwise receiving vegetables from the earth would not be possible. The same holds true for our emotional and spiritual growth; During times of change is when we truly have the opportunity for transformation. And that is what I am finding right now. Each day I learn something new about myself, each moment I am faced with opportunities for growth. There is no familiar place to run to and really nothing comfortable to occupy my time with, so instead I am faced with whatever comes up... and what I am finding is really amazing.

I am learning the truth behind the Dalhi Lama's teachings of interconnectivity, and how we truly are connected through everything we do. Feeling lonely and uncomfortable in a new place is just an illusion, because in truth home is here with me, and wonderful people are surrounding me at every moment. Only thinking about loneliness creates isolation from all of the abundant love that surrounds us everyday. Realizing this has been pretty powerful, because it allows me to feel at home exactly where I am in each moment. That home is in my heart, and if we all share the same love inside of us, we will always be connected.

Finding a piece of home through teaching the union of yoga to new students everyday, and in the smiling faces of my precious students at the Freedom House. Finding home in the familiar taste of a fresh avocado salad, and in the funky music that's played at my favorite tea shop. Finding home in a smiling face from an old woman as we ride pass each other on our bikes in the morning, and in the green leaves that poor over each towering tree. Finding home in the chilly night air as we enter the "cold" season, and in sitting around a table of new friends sharing food off each others plates like family. Finding home relaxing in a garden while getting lost in a good book, and in watching children play games with rocks and sticks in the hill tribe villages. Finding home on my quiet mediation cushion each morning and also in the busy street markets each night.

Home is in the Heart

Love to you all

April

Sending Love

Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing really well, where ever you are and whatever you are doing. I have been thinking about you all so much, and want to thank you again for all the wonderful responses and emails you have been sending my way! I feel so much love and support from home, it's just wonderful!

This past week has been another one filled with new experiences and opportunities for growth. I am beginning to truly fall in love with the beauty of Thailand and the wonderful people that live here. This past weekend I rented some motorbikes with a few friends (don't worry I wasn't driving) and took a trip up the mountains just outside of Chaing Mai. The lush trees and tropical forest here is absolutely amazing! Incredibly tall trees with winding vines that map out the entire forest floor, amazing leaves of all shapes and sizes, the most beautiful flowers with bright exotic colors, interesting birds and insects singing their little happy tunes. Needless to say, I love leaving the city on the weekends and getting lost in the mountains! We drove to a hidden hill tribe that is well known in town for growing their own coffee beans. The rows of coffee fields were so beautiful and peaceful, lined with little bungalows where you can rent out and stay the night. Although I really have never acquired the taste for coffee I ordered a cup at their little treetop cafe made from sticks and bamboo branches - it was so strong I only had a few sips! We then hiked up a broken dirt road to a village where all the people live... and what a humbling experience! The homes where made of sticks and bamboo, stretching out across a dirt compound. I think I may have saw more chickens and roosters than I did people. Despite such a small population, there were a good handful of people who had deformities or some sort of mental handicap - one of my friends pointed out that there may be a lot of incest because so few people live there, and not to mention prenatal diseases. Most of the residents that we saw have probably never left their village- there was no carts or motorbikes, and the road that we hiked up was definitely not drivable. We saw some of the most beautiful children swinging from the trees and playing in the dirt with sowrds made from sticks.  They were covered head to toe in dust and dirt, yet they were some of the most happy children I have ever seen. My first reaction upon coming to this village was sorrow, because they truly do not have anything... no toys for the children, no running water or electricity, homes made from sticks... but then my friend Sibyl reminded me that just because they do not have abundant material wealth like we do, does not mean they're unhappy. In fact these were some of the most content and joyous people I have seen this entire trip.  It was a humbling experience because I saw how we tend to place so much value on acquiring new things, in hopes of finding our happiness. The perfect house and nice car, all the clothes we could manage to stuff into one closet, and endless shoes to match... yet many of us are still unhappy. These people literally had no material possessions, yet they had each other. They were surrounded by friends, family and love, and they were so happy! What an incredible message to take home with me. 

Monday evening was my first night teaching at Freedom House, and what a learning experience that was! My lesson plan was to start with some yoga poses and then teach the names of each body part in English. The children had a really fun time with this activity, but it was not easy, mainly because they are all different ages and at different learning levels. The ages range from four /five to twelve /thirteen. Some of the older kids know how to read and speak in English pretty well, while the younger ones do not even know the ABC's. Idealy the children would be split up into two classes, but because there is such limited space and so few volunteers, learning together is the only option. All of the children did a really good job at memorizing the names in English, like hand, food, face and eyes, but next week I think it may be a good idea to go back to the basics and teach them how to sound out each words. It's all just a learning process right? The other challenge was that they really do not understand most, if not all of what I am saying.... which is something I expected but didn't realize how tough it would be to get around. So I use a lot of arm gestures and physical demonstrations like opening my note book and getting out my pencil. But in the end, the children are just incredibly grateful to be in such a safe place, and to receive the opportunity to learn. Most of them spend the entire day working in the construction sites with their families or selling goods on the streets, so to come together in a fun atmosphere with other children is such a treat! In seeing this, I made sure to allow them some time for playing and talking because I know how important it is for them to be around their peers and to just be a kid!

Teaching yoga is also going well, and like anything, it's such a new experience every day. My classes are Tuesday/Thursday morning and evening, with some subbing in between. I really enjoy my schedule because it isn't too much- many of you know I'm am used to taking on way too many projects and activities, so it's nice to learn how to slow down a bit. My students are all different levels and coming from all different yoga traditions, so sometimes it can be a bit challenging knowing what to teach to. But I'm finding that if I just keep true to my authentic voice and allow modifications, it really seems to benefit everyone. Once again, it's all a learning process right? Speaking of all different backgrounds, I went to a Kirtan this weekend and was surrounded by people from every part of the globe. Kirtan is where people come together to sing, chant and share creative energy for a deeper purpose. Usually it's done in the Indian tradition, but we also sang chants in African, Rastafarian and English. There were drums, guitars, dancing and singing, and it really was amazing to have so much creative energy in one room. People from all walks of life coming together to feel the unity that we all share- to recognize that apart from our external appearance there is no real differences between us. It was really beautiful!

Have a great week and talk to you again soon

April

Seeing and Feelig So Much

Each day brings something new, and I am working on being completely present to watch it all unfold. I am also beginning to feel more comfortable with finding my way around Chaing Mai and exploring all it's beauty. I bought a bike this past week, which is the little red cruiser you've seen in the pictures bellow- yep, there really is a seat on the back that is great for toting friends around town! Everyone has a motorbike here, they hand them out like candy without requiring any kind of training or even a helmet! I've seen kids as young as ten driving them around, and the locals often ride 2 or 3 people on the back. I guess nothing really surprises me after seeing entire families in India packed on to one tiny motorbike, with infant babies sitting side sattle on their mothers laps. But honestly the Thia's are very safe drivers... the real people you have to look out for is the tourists! The sidewalks here are all broken so I ride my red cruiser in the bike lane with other motorbikes and bicycles- the main thing I have to be careful of is remembering to stay in the left lane, other than that it's a great way to get around! I am able to see so much more of the city... a beautiful park with a lake and bamboo trees where I go to read during the day, street markets that sell the most amazing tropical fruits, as well as peaceful temples that I visit for daily meditation or chanting.

There really is so much I want to share about my experience here so far, but since I really only have a small space I'll tell you about the amazing non-profit organization I've found called Freedom House. It's a school that is dedicated towards helping Burmese refugees receive an education. Many families flee Burma to live in Northern Thailand in hopes of escaping poverty and hunger, only to be oppressed by the Thai government. Many take jobs at construction sites making next to nothing a day while their children are exposed to child labor at a frighteningly young ages. Because they are living here illegally, they are denied any formal education by the government, so about three years ago the founder, named Lisa, opened her house to hold classes for the refugee children and their parents. Recently she received enough funding by local and national doners to move out of her house and open a small school. Lisa donates her time, making absolutely no money, and all her teachers are volunteers. She holds classes every evening (so that the families can work during the day) downstairs for the children, and upstairs for young adults. Lisa is headed back to the U.S. for a few months to raise more funding for the school because she barely has enough to stay afloat. And that is how the universe brought us together - she needed a teacher, and I was looking for a way to help within the community. Everything always happens the way it's supposed to. I will be teaching English every Monday evening to a small group of Burmese children varying in all different ages. The school is a tiny building with brightly painted walls decorated with the most beautiful children's artwork. When I visited a few days ago for my first time, I arrived to find children sitting on the floor coloring pictures with so much excitement and joy. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to work with such wonderful children and to help in whatever way I can... although I have a feeling I will learn much more from them then they will learn from me!

A culturally shocking experience I had this week was another one involving young children being deprived of their innocence. Muay Thai fights are held twice a week at a nearby arena and are a popular form of entertainment for locals and tourists. I felt a bit nervous about going because this really isn't something I am ordinarily interested in, but since martial arts is such a big part of Asian culture I wanted to experience it at least once. I went with a few friends and was totally unprepared for what I saw. First to describe the arena to you; it's basically like what you would picture a dark, smokey warehouse to look like. There was a bar, tiny tables surrounding the rink and lots of men placing bets. The evening was scheduled to start at 9:00 with a long list of opponents paired to fight. Two tiny boys in small gym shorts and over sized boxing gloves entered the arena - they could not have been older than 11 or 12! I watched as they prepared for the flight and wondered if they really wanted to be up there, or if they would rather be playing hide and seek with their neighborhood friends. When the bell rang and they lept on each other, I really couldn't even watch. Grown men circled around the rink yelling and screaming as these two boys violently thrashed at one another. I realize that training for any sport starts at a young age, but it was so sad to see such young children fighting while so many people stood around cheering. My friend Sibyl has a 10 year old son and she began crying next to me, so I took her by the hand and we left. We talked about how important it is for us to be aware of the differences in the Thai culture, but it doesn't mean we have to support it.

I think back to the children I saw coloring pictures on the floor of their classroom at the Freedom House, and how a few of the kids must have been the same age as the boys in the boxing rink. I realize that children all over the world are forced to grow up too fast, whether it be homelessness, child labor, exploitation or prostitution... but within the past month I am really experiencing it directly, and it's pretty painful. I feel even more inspired than before I left to work towards helping those children who may not be able to help themselves.

Love to you
April

Take a look through my eyes...

Ok everyone, I figured out how to put some pictures up!!! Yea! But I'm sorry I can't figure out how to write a caption under each one to tell you what you are looking at. Just know that you are starting with me here in Thailand, and working your way down into India. Enjoy!















































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Beautiful Chaing Mia

hi everyone! I feel like it's been so long since we have "talked!" I arrived in Thailand on the 3rd, and have spent the last 5 days getting situated here in Chiang Mai. It really hasn't been long, but already I can tell that I am going to love it here. I have heard many people back home compare the unique culture here in Chiang Mia to Boulder, and I can honeslty say that I feel surrounded by pieces of home. Of course there is a lot of yoga and Thai Yoga Massage here, along with Buddhist temples on just about every corner, beautiful old trees bursting with greenery and flowers from the afternoon rain, and wonderful vegetarian restaurants as far as the eye can see... actually this month is Buddhist Lent, so the entire town has gone vegetarian! Oh and the food, wow it's so fresh and tasty! Losts of tropical fruit, fresh smoothie and juice bars everywhere, of course yummy noodle and rice dishes, and the most interesting alternative meats made from many varieties of delicious mushrooms. Eating really is a huge part of the Thai culture, so there are a lot of cute little restaurants and street vendors where people eat at all times of the day. The Thai people are so sweet and gentle, it's really amazing. In India the people were welcoming, but it was a much more of an open friendliness. Here people tend to keep a bit more distance yet they can not help but smile and giggle with you for no reason at all... everyone is just so sweet and easy going, it's great! Oh, and a huge social event here is all the street markets. Every Saturday and Sunday they have a walking market where all the people from the hill tribes come into town and set up their beautifully hand made crafts, paintings, jewelry, clothing and food. Thousands of people walk the streets late into the night every single weekend, and it's truly a site to see! I went on Sunday evening and it was really fun!

Chaing Mai is a bigger city than I thought, but like Boulder it is also very close to some beautiful mountains, which I plan on visiting this weekend with a few new friends. As many of you know, I am not the best with directions, so these past few days have been filled with wandering aimlessly around the streets trying to become familiar with my new surroundings. Luckily I've made friends with some other foreigners who are happy to wander around too! I had no idea that such a global community travels here, and I have already met some of the most interesting people who have all come to live for an extended period of time just like me. People from France, England, South America, Italy, Spain, Mexico, and Russia... all carrying unique stories from differnt backgrounds... but of course I'm finding that we really are so much the same; once again coming back to interconectivity. Today I spent the day with a retired professional contemporary dancer from Montreal named Rhainon and a spunky France girl named Naddali who was living in India before comeing to Chaing Mia. And tonight I'm heading over to a near by guest house to teach a yoga class to some new friends, Sebile and Meguiel from Mexico who are both here studying Thai Yoga Massage - they have adopted me as their yoga teacher in exchange for massage treatments and teachings on Mayan astrology... which is an offer I could not resist!

So let me tell you a bit about yoga and the amazing studio that I am teaching at called Wild Rose! It's a really beautiful and quite place that has such a peaceful energy about it! It's a yoga studio as well as a sauna/spa where people come for asana and also to pamper their bodies with some deeply healing sauna treatments. The first day I got here, there was a community gathering at the studio where we had a yoga practice with a great teacher named Jo with funky blonde dreads from England, and then we all took a sauna together and ended the night sitting cross legged on the studio floor eating the most amazing vegetarian food and talking into the wee hours of the night. That was a great introduction into my Chaing Mai experience, and really how I met so many amazing people. I teach on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 10-11:30, but I am subbing a lot this month because a few of the teachers are on holiday, and I will also start to teach a couple of classes in the evenings in a few weeks. I have meet a few women who teach English in the near by schools and they are helping to get me connected with the after school programs so I can teach yoga to children. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with the cute Thai kids and learning more about their culture.

When I first arrived I stayed in a guest house that was very close to the studio for a few nights so I could rest a bit and get situated. Last night I moved into Rose's house, who is the owner of Wild Rose. She is on holiday with her husband John for two weeks in the northern islands off of Bangkok and gracously opened her lovley home to me! I really am so grateful to have been introduced to Rose, she has really taken me under her wing and has helped me to feel welcomed in this beautiful community. So right now I feel a bit spoiled living in a big spacious house all by my self, spending my mornings practicing or teaching yoga, having lots of time to read and write, lounging around with new friends and eating wonderful food... wow, do I feel spoiled!

I want to thank you all for the lovely comments you have been writting to me, it's so nice to have all your support. I'm telling you, this place is truly beautiful; the people, the culture, the nature... but I think of you all quiet often and wish you could experience this beauty right along with me! But I know we are so connected, eventhough we are on opposite sides of the world. I hope you are doing really well and that your surrounded by so much love!
"talk" to you again soon

Love
April

Culture Shock

After completely falling in love with Dharmansala and the beauty I have found there, we were really apprehensive to leave our mountain paradise. Nichole and I had made a friend named Yad on our train ride who lives in Armistar, and many people told us that was an extremely amazing place to visit... so on Monday morning we packed up our bags and made the 5 hour journey back down the mountain. I have to say this developing city was not at all what I expected; but then again I guess I really didn't have any expectations!

Armistar is in the northern district of Panjabi, and is mainly populated by people of the Sikh religion, which makes up 3% of of the all the wealthiest people in India. Yad took us around to visit two Sikh temples, one being the famous Golden Temple (yes it is completely made of gold), which is built in the middle of a moat with a beautiful marble walkway surrounding the crystal clear water. Here we learned about the customs and traditions of Sikh's, who are most commonly identified by tall colorful turbans and a single silver band on their wrists. Yad also showed us the city's university which was originally a Brithish king's palace around 300 years ago. Touring this beautiful college raised mixed emotions in my heart... although I am extremely happy that young people from wealthy families get the chance to receive a higher education, I can't help but think back to my dear friend and Hindu teacher Kamna, who will have to stop studying next year because there are no classes offered to Hindu's past the 8th grade. Seeing this city of Armistar and the large amount of wealth that is concentrated in such a small place, has really opened my eyes to the inequality that exists in this country. It's something that I was completely unaware of in Rishekesh because everyone there lives in poverty... but experiencing this stark contrast within the same underdeveloped nation just broke my heart.

We only stayed in Armistar for 3 days, and our last night Yad took us to the Pakistan border to watch the flag ceremony, which is a very popular daily event for the people here. Nichole and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into! We arrived to what appeared to be a sporting event - concession stands selling soda and chips, TV's portraying the crowd and military men preparing for the event, young boys selling pop corn and bottled water, and around a thousand people pushing their way through security to find a good seat in the stands. When we first sat down in the bleachers we were really amused watching the excited crowd and comically dressed army men... but then it started to sink in what exactly was taking place. We had heard that the Muslims in Pakistan and the Hindu/Sikh population in India do not get along, but never really found out where the tension started from. This daily flag ceremony is a way for these two countries to meet in celebration of the deep conflict that exists between them. We sat on one side of the border in stadium steating, listening to Indian music as people cheered and danced in the crowd, while the Pakistanis sat on the other side of a steal gated fence listening to their own music and chanting their own cheers. I truly felt like I was in a football game and we were each cheering for our teams - only this was not a game! This is a real life rivalry between human beings. As the flag procession took place and the army men from both sides dramatically marched around, I began to feel truly sick. I realized that we were in the middle of a celebration of conflict and that these two countries put so much energy everyday towards strengthening the separation that they perceive exists between them. I looked around the crowd to see families with young children and groups of school kids on class field trips, and the pain in my stomach got worse. These two countries are teaching their children that it is ok to hate and to separate yourself from other human beings. If we teach this to our children then there truly is no hope for peace in the future. When we finally left, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with pain and compassion for both of these people. As upset as I felt, I am grateful that I experienced this event because I'm sure that this sort of perpetuation of separation happens all over the world, and it's something that I need to be aware of. On our car ride home we listened to Michael Franti's song "Everyone Deserves Music" where he sings about no matter where we come from, what we believe in, or what we look like, we are all human beings and we all deserve the beauty of music in our lives. I think sometimes we forget that with all the perceived differences, we are all just human beings, and it's this forgetfulness that somehow makes it ok to treat one another without love or compassion. This makes me remember the Dalia Lama's teachings of interdependency and how we really are all so deeply connected - what hurts one person, hurts us all.

We flew back into Delhi late last night and I will leave tonight at midnight for Thailand, while Nichole will get on a plane tomorrow to head back home. We were going to take a 3 1/2 hour taxi ride to see the Taj Mahal but both Nichole and I woke up this morning feeling very physically sick, which I'm grateful that it only came to us at the end of our trip... so many people get sick from the food and water the entire time they are in India. I think this may be our bodies way of telling us to slow down and take some time to process everything that we have just experienced. The past three weeks have been so powerful, and I feel sad to leave Nichole and to leave India. Rishekesh, Dharmansala, and Armistar were very distinctively different places, that it truly felt like we were in three different countries. I learned so much from each place, from each person I have met, from the beautiful surroundings and especially from my own heart. It makes me think of a line in one of Michael Franti's songs: "The more I see, the less I know." India was amazing, and now I am truly looking forward to seeing my new home in Thailand, and I will promise to write again when I get settled.
Sending love!
April